


Poison

by Yana801



Category: Mobile Legends: Bang Bang (Video Game)
Genre: Emotional, Gen, Lovey Dovey, M/M, Obsession, Stupid Love, beliefs, i hate Miya for OBVIOUS reasons, i hate valentine skins, this was made last year sorry, warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-09 08:32:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17998454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yana801/pseuds/Yana801
Summary: How Zilong found someone who can finally beat him and he fell in love right from the start but was too late to notice until...





	Poison

**Author's Note:**

> I want to mention here that this story has been finished since last year but I was usy with life so I had to postponed edit it and post it. Sorry though but enjoy my fic! Keep in mind this is Zilong's POV ;)

            There are times when I feel insecure, anxious, afraid. Sometimes I would feel anger instead of guilt, sorrow rather than regret, denial when I should be ashamed of myself. Other times I thought I was confused when I actually knew what it was, vivid to the point it was a delusion. The life I’m living is and was simple. Oh, you can tell as I elaborate it.

            I was born as Son of The Dragon, a title which soared through the east from the lowest level of society to the highest and honorable people out there. In the East, war was not unfamiliar. The emperor, in hesitation-for he doesn’t trust a stranger-asked for my assistance in his wars, as a soldier just for the sake of winning for the dynasty. I was recognized as a legendary warrior for the many battles I’ve participate through the last years I breath. It was amusing where the thought of them losing without me can be foretold. Every war that ended with me winning for a side, made me think if this were even fair to begin with. The rival’s best fighter wasn’t that strong either that it took me less than three minutes to defeat him. In the end, the enemy surrendered and we won. Being victorious, I had been in those occasions for many years yet my heart is still empty. The question, which led me to participate the event at the Land of Dawn, where to fight warriors with unknown strength, was ‘Will I ever find someone who’ll defeat me?’

            A miracle bestowed me, as I fell to the cold, hard ground where my last strength has left my whole body and a big sword being pointed close to my throat. I took a glare at the one who brought me down, who finally able to bring some sort of realization in my heart that I was not the strongest, not undefeatable and able to fall. It was warm, tranquil and serene. His face, as he pants the exhaustion he went through with me, sweat coming out from his forehead and a drop fell to my nose, the moment was exhilarating that I feel, for some reason I wanted to be beside this man. For eternity.

            My eyes closed, left me in an unconscious state that the next thing I woke up is at my base with someone who almost healed up and about to head to the battlefield once more.

            “Oh, you’re back. You and Alucard were having an intense battle there. Well, he won but, it doesn’t mean our team loses. We still have time to push back,” said a guy with dark skin in a white armor and his eyes are covered by some sort of technology that I’ve never seen before, but he could still see me.

            I introduced myself properly this time as earlier we only said one or two words of passion and cooperation in this team battle. He said his name is Bruno, The Protector and shook my hand properly. As this isn’t the right time to further nice conversation, we quickly head back to the fight and work together to win. After some time in the war, we finally be able to destroy the enemy’s base and took the win. It was difficult indeed, that I almost lost to the other heroes but not today. I avoided another defeat as I believe this day was the day of revolution. A change took place in me, pushed me to become stronger and to defeat this one man, whom I respect, whom I vowed to bring him to the solid ground as he did to me. But not today.

            After the fight, I rushed to meet with the man earlier, who I remembered was named Alucard. His figure is easy to spot, as his custom garments were his long red robe and a giant sword being carried at his back. He has white and silky hair and the most recognizable thing about him is his giant right hand. Monstrous I’d say but I heard it’s a demonic hand which he held with his sword. No wonder that strength earlier was almost inhuman. When I found him, he was drinking water and sat himself at a chair.

I approached him excitedly, yet nervously and said, “Hello there, Alucard. I didn’t think we talked earlier except when we were fighting where we exchanged one or two words.”

The man inclined his body and looked at me, right in the eyes in a puzzling state. He quieted for a moment, probably recalling me. Then he suddenly exclaimed, “Oh, you’re the one who fought me one on one earlier! Hey, you were good there. It was tough to take you down you know.”

“Thank you for the compliments. It was a good fight for me too and probably the special one in all my years.”

“Oh? What do you mean by that?”

I hesitated to say this to someone who just beat me in a battle because I still feel insecure around this person. But another part of me want to open up to him, and that tempt me to finally tell my short story. “In my hometown, in the East, I was called the ‘legendary warrior’ by many people because of my unstoppable battles by my participation in every war. I was undefeatable, until today, you finally showed me the feeling to fall. This is for me to be remembered. But I wanted to be with you, as your friend and rival on the upcoming battles,” I said as I hand out my hand to shook him.

The man looked at me, awed at my short speech that it made me feel embarrass as I thought, I said too much than a normal person would when first time making contact. I could feel both my cheeks burned but I keep steady and wait for his reply. The man did reply and he said, “You really got me there. I feel very special for you when you pointed out like that. What an honor from yourself young warrior,” with a laugh. Then he took my hand and shook it. “The name’s Alucard, Demon Hunter. I came from the West and join this event because I wanted to train myself while taking a vacation,” he said before laughing again.

It warms me to the core even though he was laughing at merely nothing but himself. It felt funny a bit so with the atmosphere he created I laughed too. Then I said, “It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance. My name is Yun Zhou, Son of the Dragon. I came from the East and came here wanted to fight formidable opponents. Seems like, I found one,” with a smile. He smiled back.

            From then on, me and Alucard would always meet with each other, before or after the battles and even in our free time and we went to drink at the usual bar having conversations about ourselves, people, the event, and sometimes women. I never thought of being in a relationship with women or anyone in my life as I have lived throughout the years as a warrior to serve the nation, as well as myself. Sometimes, it’s not just us two, but with all our other friends like Layla, Clint, Alpha, Akai, Johnson, Yi Sun Shin, Lapu-Lapu, Sun and Karina. There are others I would like to mention but it is not that necessary as mostly it’s just me and Alucard in every season. Lolita would find us as ‘compatible’ with each other as we are both into battles and also, we have a bond, called a chemistry emits from us which me and the hunter don’t know what on Earth could that elf means. Bruno doesn’t even dare to bring it up because he said, “It’s not worthwhile, guys and it’s freaking disturbing as hell. You do not want to know what she’s thinking,” in a worry manner that made us forget about it.

            During battles, there are times where me and the hunter would be placed in the same team and I felt we were immortal at that time. The lanes were conquered by us, the enemies were down one by one with our cooperative battle techniques. It was one of the days I truly felt we were good when we were together and nothing could break our relationship apart. I believed we were destined to fought side by side and let our team won victoriously. The other times were when we are placed in different teams, and were forced to fight each other. Each and every fights are erratic, as sometimes I win, and the other times he won when we decided to 1 vs 1. It was a proud and challenging fight, even the hunter confessed so. But afterwards, it doesn’t matter which team won. In the end after we got out, we met with each other, smiled and laughed for the fight was enjoyable. In our hearts, there was nothing more enchanting, than being with each other. …And that’s when I thought we had in the first place where he accepted me as his one and only true friend. He even confessed so to me in a serious tone on how thoughtful I am towards him and never met a person as special as him. I even swore, I’d die for him and he thought I was joking but when he knew I was serious, as I stare deeply into his eyes. He stopped laughing and said to me in solemnity, “Don’t take it too far as to kill yourself. My death isn’t worth for yours. Let’s focus on taking care of ourselves. Hey, I can fight too you know. Isn’t this better for both of us, Zilong?”

I quieted for a brief moment, thinking of the situation and the probable solution which is better for the both of us. When I took Alucard’s suggestion into consideration, I said with a smile, “You’re right. It was foolish of me to think like that, as if I disrespect your strength. Alright, let’s take care of each other’s back.”

“That’s the way, my friend! That way, we can live forever side by side!” he said before laughing out loud beside me.

            To be honest, I feel some sort of sorrow in my heart when he said ‘friend’. I know it’s weird but I cannot help but to longed for him every day. Whenever the season ends and we part our ways, the next day, only the thought of the hunter goes around my head and it sometimes goes on and on for a week. The next week I kept myself busy with bounty jobs and secret request from the emperor. Obsession? The only thing that kept me wondering about this, disease I have come from the thought of longing for Alucard with unknown reasons. As months gone by, it became worst. Somehow this toxic feeling came through me from my chest, went down to my stomach and finally to my crotch. It is the same feeling when you are excited and lustful. I felt ashamed of myself that a thought finally came to me in a brink of an eye. Seconds the imagination came to my head and played it so fast that I knew what I pictured. It was dirty, lewd, and disgusting but enticing all the more for my cock has become harder than before. I knew what I had to do and as well as it is shameful, all the more to avoid doing so but, I can’t help it. I opened my trousers and lay down on my bed while thinking the things he might do to me, naked, with passion, and insatiable desire overflowing from our sanity, they made me excited that I quickly want to cum. Then the thought of me being penetrated by another man, and that man be the hunter, made my head go wild all the more. Then seconds later, I trenched my hand with my own white liquid. I lay tirelessly from that short exercise and began a long trail of thinking of my feelings and doings earlier for that hunter.

            ‘Why did I thought of him that way?’ was a question that I kept asking myself over and over again until night falls, and until morning where I woke up by a ray of sunlight being shone upon my eye from the bedroom window beside me. When I remembered what I was to solve, the answer just came to me in an instant, with nothing more that could be made an excuse for. Love. I have fallen for the man from the moment I knew we were meant to be together, side by side. That’s when I started to have incomprehensible feelings for him, to give, to desire, and to die for him. I thought it was foolish of me but, now I realize how selfish I was to love him when he thought me as his one and true friend. Somehow, the moment of clarity of what my confusion to Alucard was turned to sorrow of the realization that we could never work out.

            Even so, I never change my attitude towards my dearest friend, whom I thought as the love of my life. In every season we meet, we would always be together, fight, spend some free time and even go shopping some cheap clothes for a change. The time I spent with him, are very memorable, and I believed we would be together forever. Yet, all was well until Alucard changed his time as he no longer spends the whole time together with me, but made time for something else. Which I thought was an obstacle for us to be together. Somehow, anger filled up in me but I kept being positive as he is a normal person, a man who wanted to have some time with women too. He recently, in every season, kept on going to Layla’s group, consist of Miya, Nana and Eudora at the moment. They were friends since the beginning of time and I couldn’t saw what was in them compared to me, his first friend from the start. From that moment, jealousy took its place in my heart but I held it in with all my rationality as I couldn’t do anything from the start to stop him. Everyone has their rights to talk and hang out with anyone they like. I had no right to not allow him as I am no one important. To cool myself down I decided to join with my other friends, Bruno, Alpha, Akai and Lolita at the moment. We did have fun talking about random things but suddenly it snapped me in the mind as I heard Bruno talked about a rumor about the one I love with someone familiar.

“Hey, didn’t you guys hear? The GM (Game Master) has made a poster to promote the event for Valentines’ Day tomorrow. Do you want to know who they choose as model this season?” he said while looking at all of us. He answered, “Alucard and Miya!”

“Oh my God! They’re really being featured in Valentines’ Day?! I’m so excited for those two, really they are compatible. They’ve been going out a lot nowadays right? I’ve seen them sometimes holding hands while walking around town,” Lolita said with excitement.

But I didn’t get excited or happy about the news. It left an opening in my heart and my mind started to complete puzzles in my head as to the question the hunter is spending time with the girls. After all this time, he actually date one of them? Then…how can I not know this? …I was his best friend and he didn’t tell me? That was enough for me to hear that I quickly excused myself and head to buy some necessities. Thank God they didn’t ask further questions about my weird actions but as rude as I was, I really must get away from everyone, anyone and let myself be alone for a while, so to sort things out. My head has gotten really messy and any more than this, would entirely break me.

            I rushed out form the bar, enter the woods and went to the far side where I know anyone would never go. My breath, was out. In exhaustion I pant while sat myself under a big tree and leaned my back on it. I just looked down to my weary, foolish, useless self. The thought of running away because of breaking my own heart, is inexcusable, not an act of bravery I’d say as this shows how fragile my being is. Yet how could he? I know from the corners of my mind that this is a simple matter, not worth being mad over for. They are lovers and has been from the time Alucard began making time for his other things. It’s his personal idea, so I should never invade it. Then why does my heart shout to me the otherwise? Tempted me to invade them, fight for my love, and to make him mine for eternity? Is that all wrong to do? To fight what was rightfully mine in the first place? Why?! Why can’t I have him?! He was mine! Miya would never understand him as much as I do! I was the one who he depended on the most! I was there when he needed me! No one else loves him as I do! Then still why we’re not together… Why do I have to feel this way… Pain, void, run in me like a hurricane that slices my insides, my soul and my heart… The dying love I felt, is stronger than the pain of getting wounds from the war. I’d die from this, if it breaks into pieces… I…I must keep myself strong… No matter how painful it is, how terrified our future may be, I would stay beside him, and be the one he could rely on…forever. For the first time from over the years I’ve lived, he is the first one to set tears upon my wrecked self…

            As I vowed myself to be by his side forever, it seems in every season, until Fall is here, my hopes were too high to reach after all as Alucard decided to spend more time with that Moonlight Archer than before. I was deeply upset but kept lying to myself and to him that I was happy to see him and Miya together. Truth to be told, he did confess to me that he loved her and were dating for awhile. He apologized that he didn’t told me sooner but he thought it wasn’t that big of a deal. Then he asked for my permission to let him spend more time with her than me, means giving half or all my time to him for her girlfriend. I hesitantly agreed so, when my heart was torn apart to the thought of him leaving me. I vowed to never leave him, but I guess destiny wants him to leave me. Miya is a great archer and an outstanding warrior and also a guardian to the Moonlight King.

            Somehow, the thought of me isn’t around him anymore, or beside him, really made me fear of him doesn’t need me anymore. As if it doesn’t effect his life. From what I observed from his days here spent in the event, he merely had time for me and his friends and usually talked with Miya, and the other girls. Others supported him from the background but I was incredibly hurt from the view afar. They are happy, as if were meant to be, like the shape of a ring fit on the luckiest finger, the rare jewel being found by the luckiest man and the couple written by Heaven. My name with Alucard? It has never been written from the start. Our existence was more than mere friends has never been recognized or even made in Heaven. It is pity how I even fell in love with him, and grew to die for him. But now that vow is utterly useless as he doesn’t seemed to even see me the way he did before, as someone special, honorable and dependable. By that, I feel alone once again, as if I lost the one I loved, the one I admire fully to my soul and my true friend. I lost everything, the meaning of fighting, feel, love, desire and sensibility.

            The worse part of myself was unable to stand it when the man I love, kissed the one whom I truly envy. They did it with passion, when it was my place that woman took, that it was supposed to be me with him in that park surrounded by nobody and we would dive into burning fire until tomorrow should never come. The sight, just tore me apart that I rushed to my room after buying two dozens of booze. I locked the door, took off my boots, my clothing, and my accessories before sat down beside my bed and started to open one bottle of booze then drank it with my heart’s content. Anger, hatred, sorrow, betrayed, disappointed, pathetic, pained, useless, worthless, foolish, and fear, were mixed within me whenever I drank. I wanted to relieve myself, from this torture I am in, from this everlasting pain which I experience. I wanted it to end! To forget this feeling, to kill it and never should let it grow this bad. In my room, alone, drunk while drinking from 9 P.M until two in the morning. God knows how many bottles I drank but I did until my mind went blank and my emotions went out of its own until I’m empty all inside. I cried, and cried without so much sound, with my heart ripped out from my chest until I fell asleep. It was a mess, that only I could clean it, with a resolution. The next day I woke up, I didn’t enter the event today as I have a massive headache, where it prevented me to think anything. So to end the day, I let my body and mind rest, went to sleep for hours no end.

            The next thing I woke up is the day after the day I fell asleep, it was half past three in the morning and the headache was gone, but only one thing for surely came. It was starvation. I rushed myself to the bathroom, bathe, brush my teeth and comb my hair then wore a white t-shirt with black trousers. After that, I went downstairs and entered the dining room where it was supposed to be on service for 24 hours. I talked to the person at the counter and ordered a cup of coffee and a whole garlic bread, some small snacks just to fill up my stomach as I don’t have any tendency to eat a lot. Then it caught my eye, when I wanted to find somewhere to sit, a man who is my friend sat alone with his…some sort of technology in front of him. Possibly a laptop. Need not to think more, I approached him and sat the opposite of where he is sitting.

I greeted him, “Good morning, Alpha. You’re up early than I thought.”

“Same as you, Zilong. Probably you overslept yesterday and woke up early today because you were hungry,” he said in an aloof manner, yet calm while still working with his laptop.

Sometimes, Alpha, The Ultimate Weapon is a friendly and trustworthy man. The other is he wore people off. Intimidating and intruding other’s privacy. Who knows how many secrets he holds with or without the person’s consent! He might know my problems better than I do, and did knew. But as long as he doesn’t bring it up, my problems are lessen. “Say, what are you doing this early? You didn’t sleep until now?”

“No. I am half machine so I could stay overnight for this.”

“For what?” After the question, he turned his thing to me and showed me what appears to be some sort flying vehicle. “What is that?”

“This is called a game. It’s where you fly this space battleship throughout the galaxy and destroy invaders and monsters of the universe. You should try it. It’s addicting.”

“Uh, I have to decline the offer because I’m not that knowledgeable of your games,” I said before I chuckled.

After that, my food and drink came to me and I ate them hungrily for how famished I am. Being absent for two days without eating made me feel my weight is lesser. And the same for my heart. I feel nothing now, but the vague scar that was left deeply in my heart. To forget them, I must work myself. Suddenly, Alpha asked questions that frightened me to the core that made me stopped eating my bread.

“How did forgetting Alucard worked out for you yesterday and the night before? Did it lessen the pain that you’re experiencing? Did you thought Miya will replace you forever?” He asked while looking straight at me after stopping playing his game.

This is intense, the atmosphere, the mood, the person himself! He is driving me crazy with the questions which I wanted to avoid to thought about during my recovery. I looked at him in surprised then I looked at my black coffee with all the events I’ve went through plus the questions being asked. It was like a time travel, memory loss recovery and I have to endure it all just to solve unimportant questions when I should avoid to answer but didn’t. The last question hit me, like a sharp knife being pierced straight into me without any warning. Replace? A friend with a lover? A man…with a woman… It is no question as why Alucard shouldn’t replace me for someone worthwhile, attractive, beautiful and a different gender. Do I really have no place for him in his heart? Before, I did right? But now he has Miya, I…I…

I slammed my fist on the table. For a moment there was a loud thumping sound then it went quiet again. But a moment later, one could hear closely, there is a soft voice came from the dining room. It sounds he is sobbing. As my tears streamed down from my eyes to the cheeks and face twisted in both anger and sorrow. I answered, with only one word, but repeatedly, to the third question in mind while Alpha is there looking at my weak side with solemnity, expecting an answer, I said, “Yes…Yes…Yes…Yes…” in a weak-soft voice where I could’ve sworn only I could hear myself said so.

Afterwards, I strengthened myself and began to quickly finish my food. While doing so, Alpha said in a low tone, as if trying to comfort me but in a casual way, “Fear, is what kept your love going. It isn’t pleasurable but it has a meaning to your life rather than to have none. You held him too tight to the point you can’t bear to let him go. Because it is painful to both keep and free him that you are stuck in the middle that’ll get you nowhere except for feeling despair, afraid and terrified by the outcome of him leaving you. But believing you don’t have any meaning in life except for him is wrong. Yet, now, you’re getting worse, and it’s too late to turn back now. Better kill your feelings now before it gets worse to the point you get mental disorder.” He then leaves the dining room and went upstairs as I heard his steps.

            I was left alone thinking about what the cyborg said. It gave me some sort of light to figure a way to ensure my fear will leave me, forever. Me and Alucard were never meant to be together, and this love for him, was the biggest mistake of my life that I have to redo it to make my life worth again. Hurting myself with unnecessary feelings, really was foolish. Love makes you crazy, insane, and to never think straight ever again. I was so afraid of him leaving me, being replaced when reality already showed me that I have. My heart was in too deep that it suffocates me as I watch myself die without reason. Now, I finally got the solution! Instead of dying slowly and painfully, why not start a new life where I bear no pain? No fear? No love? It would be a paradise for me, and the point of no return the old me, which is better considering myself dying because of unrequited love and unfair destiny. My love, my life, will be anew. …I love you Alucard. I love you so much that I’d die for you. I think now would be the perfect time to show you how my love, my heart yearns for you even though I can’t have you…

            I didn’t think straight, I knew so. That’s why I sneaked to Alucard’s room with the second key that I stole from the counter where the owner isn’t looking, and walked quietly, approaching my love of my current life. I went on top of him as light as I could without much movement so he doesn’t wake up by my presence. But a moment later as I prepared myself, he woke up and was surprised by my sudden appearance on top of him. I wasn’t feeling anything but only smiled with all my love, pain and fear. Without further ado, I did the ceremony.

“Good morning, Alucard. How was your sleep?”

“Zilong? What are you doing here?” then his eyes were big seeing the object at my right hand. I guess I need not to hide it.

“Haha, you see it don’t you? Then I don’t have anything to hide now…”

“Why Zilong?! After all this time you were my friend! I trusted you!”

“…You did…And I still trust you…You pushed me away, Alucard. We were never meant to be. Now, I shall be reborn, after bury my love for you for good. I wish I never met you, so it never had to be this way…”

“W-What are you saying? Please stop this madness, Zilong! There’s still good in you.”

“You are so kind, Alucard. Too kind… I love you Alucard, in this life. I’d die for you…for your happiness sake…”

I used the knife and quickly pierced myself in the chest, which left a strong pain throughout my whole body and my mouth was vomiting out blood. With no strength left I fell down to the hunter’s warm, and big figure and lay there in his arms until my final breath.

I heard he screamed for help and called my name several times but it gets distant by the second. My last strength…was I caressed his face with my hand covered with blood, poisoned by love.

**End**

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry that I didn't put a cahracter death warning at the beginning because I wanted to make the ending a surprise. I know it looks stupid and dramatic but I put beauty of the soul in here right? Ahem! Sorry about that. But stay tuned for Gusion's Fudanshi Gathering Experience next!


End file.
